He’d almost always be happy to see me. He could make me feel great. It’s so different having a living father who loves you, even someone complex and imperfect. After your father dies, defeat becomes pretty defeating. When he’s still alive, there are setbacks and heartbreak, but you’re still the apple of someone’s eye.
Sunday, January 11, 2015
After your father dies
This is one for the Growing up Fatherless archives, which haven’t been visited in some time. Another of the books I took home for the summer book swap at book club was Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott. I enjoy her writing (though that is not a complete endorsement of all that she writes), so borrowed it out of curiosity. It’s a kind of anecdotal biograghy that was very easy to read, and I have copied out a few snippets I want to keep. This one from the chapter on Dad, which ventured into the territory of relationships after your father is dead.