Friday, November 29, 2013

Friday

Let's do another personality test! I saw a Book Week Scotland Personality Test on Facebook, and how could I resist that combination? - Scotland (home of my ancestors), books and personality.

However, I was a little dismayed when, given I was supposed to be a literary figure, I came out as someone I had never before heard of. Here is my result:

EMMA MORLEY
You are Emma Morley from One Day
You, and people like you, are often artistic and great counsellors to friends and family. With deep intuition, like Emma, you can often forgive others’ behaviour because, somehow, you deeply empathise with the motivations and inner turmoil behind them.

Even though you can appear aloof, bland and stubborn on your bad days you are as warm as you are complex. Your friends hold you close to their hearts and understand your dislike of conflict. With great creativity, given independence, you can excel at jobs to which you commit yourself.


So I googled this and read about the film One Day on Wikipedia, with even greater dismay. It sounds like nonsense. I got confused just reading it and trying to keep up with the relationship starts and stops. Perhaps the book is better? I do quite like the sound of Emma Morley, but isn't that just the thing? We feel a sympathy for people like ourselves.

What stood out to me in the above blurb is the line about I can "often forgive others' behaviour because, somehow, you deeply empathise with the motivations and inner turmoil behind them". Is that how you explain it? I think this is indeed true of myself. At times I totally overdo my inner explanations of why so and so did such and such and invent all sorts of reasons for why they didn't really mean to. But I am self-aware enough to know that this trait very often looks, to others and even at times to myself, like being a pushover, who keeps going back for more destructive treatment. There are times when I storm (on the inside of course) and wonder why a certain person treats me poorly. Then I realise it's because I keep forgiving them for treating me poorly and sparing them from any consequences of treating me poorly. And then I want to stamp my foot and be "tougher". But of course I don't. And I do then I remind myself that grace is always uneven, and love is uneven, and that I can dispense grace even when I know full well that people have been unkind, because I have received grace, knowing full well I don't deserve it.

But, this is partly the reason for my interest in ideas like "we teach others how to treat us", because, while forgiveness and grace and love are the things, there are sometimes better ways for relationships to work than with dynamics so uneven they are dysfunctional, or one person looking like a "pushover", which ultimately isn't good for anyone.

Anyway, like they say at the end of one of these tests, "life is not always easy for the INFJ" (the above blurb does sound a lot like an INFJ - I can't escape!), what with all this wretched introspection. The rest of you can just go and have fun doing the test.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

If you like Anne Hathaway then get the film of one day. I read the book and while it is ok and had its moments, it'll probably stay on the shelf for a while before a re-read.