Saturday, October 12, 2013

The plan that failed

I mentioned that I had a vague plan for altering my life and was waiting for confirmation. Well, after living on tenterhooks and waiting and waiting, for meetings and the powers at be to have their say, sadly, my plan failed.

I tried to present a case to my current employer that I could do my job remotely and only come into the office for one day a week, which would allow me to live quite a distance away. My manager was unfazed and quite amenable to the idea (initially when I asked about the possibilities of working remotely, his response was that coming in one day a week should be enough), which gave me reason to hope. But when it went up the chain of management, the least I could reduce office time to was three days a week. This is not so useful. I can’t live so far away if I have to commute for three days a week. So, I came home and cried, and called my Mum and cried. My dream shattered and the perfect plan I had created for living how I want to live crumbled in a heap.

So, I am now right back where I started with trying to come up with some other idea. But, I have to trust it to God that that wasn’t how it was all meant to work out and there will be some other way.

In all this decision-making and re-evaluating I have decided on two things:

(a) I don’t want to live in Sydney any more
(b) I don’t want to live in share housing any more

It is probably best I have come to both those conclusions because living in Sydney and not living in share housing are more or less mutually exclusive, and they each influenced the other.

When I tried to write a list of reasons why I stay in Sydney, given the cost of housing, there were not too many things on it. (I don’t have any family here, I have few good friends left that I see with any kind of regularity (and some that I do are leaving themselves), I am not involved in any ministries this year at church to which I am indispensable and which I couldn’t do elsewhere, I am not rapt in my current job, the rent is too expensive (and buying is all but out of the question), there are no men here who are asking me out ... and that is about all the reasons I can think of.) When I think about how I spend my free time, which is largely pottering around by myself, I don’t need to be in the most expensive city in the country to do it. And having now reached the age that I pretend people don’t know I am, I am too old to continue trying to find random flatmates, and I want a real home for myself. I don’t want to go on living holed up in my bedroom like a teenager reading books because the TV is on in the living room. I want to live in the living room – to sit on my couches and play music, to do crochet and read books and leave books and crochet scattered about, to invite people over when I would like to invite them over.

So, there is my internet catharsis and reasoning. And I now need to find some other way to make these life alterations.

11 comments:

Karen said...

Praying for wisdom (and a cheaper home to live in!) for you, Ali.

PS. It's quite nice here in Tweed :)

Ali said...

Oh thanks Karen! I appreciate the prayers ... and the suggestion :).

I perhaps sounded overly negative, as there is lots to love about Sydney and I have enjoyed living here a lot, but it was never going to be forever, and I think the time has come for leaving ...

Meredith said...

Oh...
God clearly has something in mind. Praying His plans will become clear to you in good time.
Mx

Ali said...

Thank you Meredith! ("In good time" being the operative clause here as I need to be ready for action when my flatmate moves out ... but shall trust something comes up.)

Jessica said...

It's wearying. I've been looking at the same stuff. I've got the sort of job that will always tie me to Sydney. Graphic design is very hard to find in regional areas. But with 3 days a week I could manage a longer commute from say Gosford. Or the Mountains. But it's still an exhausting thought.

Ali said...

Ah Jes, yes. I tried even to get it down to two days (since one seemed very unlikely), because two would be more manageable than three, but couldn't. I think a couple of hours commute each way three days a week becomes, as you say, rather wearying! The dilemma ...

CharlieK said...

I too been weighing up career options with my work looking to offshore jobs :-( Life has difficult decisions even if you are married etc.

Sorry to hear you may be leaving Sydney sometime. Hope some reflection and prayer and seeking wise, trusted cousel will help ?


Anonymous said...

easier to steer a car when its moving - so go forth and start looking, applying and see what opens up. I am sure God will close doors as well as open them. St. Paul would often say he desired to do this or go somewhere but said the Spirit stopped them or redirected them. But he was always going forward. I was in a similar predicament to you. So I moved to Mount Gambier for a lesser job (still ok though). It is cool, cheap, lots of nature,history,geology, near the coast and lots of quaint little coastal and inland places. Big enough to have all your needed shops and places like the Grampians are only a couple of hours drive away. Weather is colder - more Wales at times then New South! I have no regrets leaving the big city behind.

Ali said...

Hi Charlie,

Yes, I reckon it won't be too long before more of our company is offshore (some of it is already in India and Singapore) also. And yes, hopefully those measures will lead to a wise decision. I would like to stay within a reasonable distance of Sydney ...

Anon, yes. Moving on and seeing what circumstances allow is the plan (and as you say, that is usually how God makes things clear ...).

Ben McLaughlin said...

I'll pray about this situation Ali. I also hear you with the frustrating work thing. I could easily do my work remotely, I have exactly the same setup at home. It's completely logical that I could work say three or four days at home a week. But my boss is all about appearances, and looking like we are a 'real animation studio', so I'm stuck with a 3hr commute every day. Just a frustrating waste of time for no valid reason.

Ali said...

Hi Ben, sorry you got moderated because this post is older than 2 weeks.

Bummer. That does sound frustrating. And I thought working remotely and online was the way of the future ...

Thanks for your prayers my way!