Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Giving away a rug and a hope

So, photos of crochet anyone? I’ve run a little out of steam lately, but am going to have a little holiday soon, which might restore it.

This is one of those posts I write that might make you all consider me a little crazy, but what are blogs for …

I actually made this crochet rug many many years ago. I made a similar one for a close friend’s baby, then made this one, and just put it away in the cupboard (the hope chest, the glory box …), thinking I would keep it for the day I had a baby of my own, and have since all but forgotten about it. I didn’t even think of it when my later niece and nephew were born, because they were born in Darwin or a Queensland summer, and were older when I made them rugs, and so it has just sat there in a zipped-up plastic bag all these years.

But I’ve dug it out to give it to this nephew that is coming. I couldn’t help feeling a kind of pang, like it’s the giving up of a hope. But isn’t that what we have to do with all hopes in any case? Is it Amy Carmichael or Elisabeth Elliot who writes most about how we must hold our hopes and dreams and plans in an open palm, not closing our fists around them, but trusting them to a God who withholds no good thing? Anyway, I’m not somehow superstitious about this actual rug, and I know giving it away won’t make it any more or less likely that I have a baby of my own. If God chooses to give me someone who wants to love and care for and share his life with me, and chooses to give us a baby, I can make another rug, and if God chooses not to, then nothing I do or don’t do or keep in the cupboard will make the least difference.

 In the meantime, this nephew might as well have the use of this rug.






6 comments:

Karen said...

It's a lovely rug, Ali. I'm sure your nephew (is this the one still on his way?) will love it...

Ali said...

Thanks Karen, yes it's for the one on the way. Whatever happens there, I decided I wanted this baby to have it.

Jessica said...

I sympathise.

Ali said...

Thanks Jess. I smiled at your reference to your "glory box" the other day too (I really should comment more myself shouldn't it) and was inspired by your "de-boxing" efforts. I guess you could consider this de-cluttering - or one strike against hoarding things for a possible future use. Now I just need to go through the rest of my stuff ...

Rebecca said...

Hello-my-dear, I ran across this old post of yours when I selected your "crochet" tag. I'm looking for a nice stash-buster granny square pattern, but I couldn't miss the opportunity to comment on this post. I had a similar crocheted baby blanket, or rug, as you call it, in my hope chest for years, and like you I finally decided to give it away when a couple for Haiti by way of Quebec started coming to our church. They had had a miscarriage not long after I met them, and then when they were finally able to have a baby, we were all so happy for them. There was so much hope in that blanket I'd made when I was a young girl, and at first I was hesitant to give it away, but like you I came to the conclusion that I could make others if ever the Lord answered those desires of my heart. We spent so many hours daydreaming about our future lives, didn't we? And if your life now is anything like mine, it looks very different from our imaginings. I wish sometimes I could return to 17 and tell myself to keep less of myself, to give more, love more. To remind myself that the best preparation for an unknown future is living fully in the present season. I can't help wondering if when we've attained eternity if we will have any vague memories of this life and the treasures we stored here. I think we will, but I pray that the treasures I store against that day are the ones that rust and moth can't corrupt.
Fondly, Rebecca

Ali said...

Dear Rebecca, apologies that your comment got moderated by the age of this post and I had no idea it existed until now. But thank you. Do you know, in the end, I can hardly recall exactly how it happened, but I sent my sister a picture of the rug and she didn't actually want/need it for the nursery (as is perhaps a little less sentimental than I am), so I do still have the rug after all! I had all but forgotten it again till my Mum came to visit over Christmas and was going through cupboards. But you are right and I must find the appropriate baby to give it away to (there are four babies born in to friends in my church about now, but it is that old trick of trying to equalise the gift giving a little when I have been to three baby showers of the same people!). I really like your lesson to yourself of keeping less of yourself and giving away more. We so often thinks the gifts of God must be in some way limited and in need of conserving, which is very much not the case.

Thanks again for coming by and I shall now go and reconsider that rug ...